while i sorted things out, i found a pile of paper underneath the beddings. a moment took me to glance all the pieces i once made for you. without further notice, i smiled and frowned
i remember it all
hows and whys
the reasons and sobs
the joy and heartache
then, i started with the crumpled ones from the back. i remember why i tossed them on the garbage can and how i struggled as took them back. i can even reminisce how many paragraphs i crashed out and how messy my thoughts were as i scribbled the first five sentences of how blessed i am to have you. i wrote everything even the slightest detail on our story, without skipping each part. i found myself grinning.
looking back, i realized that i wrote them genuinely – poured from the deepest core of what my heart felt. You brought me back little by little, saved me from my own chaos. Happiness is what found in you, in us.
But, in the process of loving you, I lost myself. I was too focused on “us” on “you” to the point that wouldn’t care of crushing my own pieces. And with that, I need to let you go.